Football game!

Wow, how much fun did we have last night! Good friends of our gave us tickets to the Rider game last night, 50 yard line, right down in front (or is that behind) of the team. It was a gift that was to help us be refreshed after all the stress of moving and renos... It was refreshing all right but maybe not the way it was intended! We knew there was a severe t-shower warning but figured it would hold off until after the game...Wrong! It rained and rained... Less than 3 minutes into the final quarter the game was called to a standstill by the severe weather. Those of us not seated in under the overhangs made our way inside to be crowded in where it was dry (but certainly not warm!) 55 minutes later the game resumed. A sold out crowd had dwindled to a crowd of 16000+ die hard fans. No one sat and everyone cheered, even when the rain began again. It was energy like I had never experienced before. Crazy and wild, cold and wet fans all there for the love of the game... so very cool. The Riders themselves were energized by it and played like it... The highlights for me were little things... seeing GM Eric Tillman out in the rain, waving the rider flag, cheering his team on to victory, a soaking wet gopher still giving %110 when his team scored, even though the fire works were dead. A soaked to the bone vendor who was cheerful enough to sell warm burgers for a $1 during the power outage and come back and ask you how they were. And when it was all said and done and the Riders had won, as we were leaving our seats, soaked and chilled to the bone, we looked back and saw Riders and Eskimos alike on taking a knee in center field in the poring rain to Thank God for a game well played and no serious injuries. The rain may not have been the weather of choice but it will leave me with memories that otherwise I never would have had. It was an amazing night...

odds and ends

Why is it that I always wake up super early the days I know I have to be awake the longest!! Hate stress... must learn to cope better...
So I left children's ministry at church, well at least took a hiatus. Sucks royally but I just am not cut out for morning ministry and that's all that our church is offering right now. I hope it succeeds but it's just not the right fit for me. I stuck on worship team though.
So things were a bit muddy in my last post. All the stuff Bobby and I are going through have very little to do with the lack of his involvement in youth ministry though that does still have us feeling a bit bitter, I won't lie but it was a convenient truth not the whole truth.
It just feels like our church as a whole is cutting us out. As I was saying to a friend, not long ago, our perceptions are real but that doesn't make them true, so I can't say for a fact that our being 'cut out' is a truth but it is my perception. We don't feel very important or needed right now. So why did I cut myself off from my main ministry passion? Seems strange I know but the fact is the way children's ministry is being run now just doesn't fit me. I could be a warm body filling a time slot but that's just not how I think ministry should operate, you know?
As for Bobby well that's his story to tell but I know he is hurting and that is so hard to watch. God will bring us through and we'll be better and stronger for this struggle. That's one perception I know is true!
In other news, I am back to full time babysitting, for the most part I am enjoying it. Makes the days go by anyway. My basement isn't finished yet so it's not what I had envisioned just yet but it is getting there.
The kids are in VBS this week and really enjoying it. It's a grand week!
Have a good one!

love summer...hate summer

So it's August and I'm still living surrounded by boxes... sigh. I've spent so much cash on baskets and storage bins in these last few days, now I just need to put them to good use. Think Mom and I are going to paint the hallways tomorrow. That is the last of the major jobs... upstairs anyway. Downstairs is a whole 'nother ballgame and I start babysitting in less than two weeks! It will all get done I'm sure.
Anyway we are having a huge get together in threeish weeks to say thanks to everyone who came and helped us move. Should be good motivation to get done the unpacking...
Summer this year has been such a mix of good and bad, I'll be glad to see it over and get life back to an even keel though I'm not sure what that will even look like. there could be very big change in the air for us as a family as we consider changing church families. That's always such a hard thing to do, especially when you don't really want to leave but feel like you have to in order to do what God has called you to do. We both want to minister in ways that we just can't seem to at right now... is changing churches the answer or do we wait it out and see what God has in store at this church?? God is seemingly being quiet on this one. For now, I think we wait it out and see how the fall goes.
What I know is this, if my husband does not find a fit in ministry, he is going to continue to die by inches inside. We were all made to serve and when you can't, part of you dies. It is so hard to watch that happen in the one I love especially when I know how good he is at youth ministry.
Well if any of my pastor's read this I guess I'll have some explaining to do but maybe that's what needs to happen. Wounds can't heal if they are left to fester, now can they...

Saying Good-bye

When you say good-bye to a person, there's a reasonable expectation of grief, loss, sadness and tears. Saying good-bye to a home, I've realized brings out all of those emotions as well and then some...
Our trailer went to it's new owner today and somehow I can't help feeling like I've lost a member of my family. I've lived there for ten whole years which is about 8 years longer than I've ever lived anywhere else. I went to that home as a young bride with an infant daughter, I left a mother of three who finally has a pretty good handle on who she is as a person. I watched all my babies take their first steps in that place. So many memories and traditions were created there, so many friendships made. It's hard to say good-bye even though I know we've out grown the space. It's time for change I know but I need to grieve the home that watched me grow up as well.
I'd like to think I'm leaving one home for another as a smarter wiser woman and yet in some ways I know I'm stupider than ever ;-) I still have my hang-ups and I still get disillusioned too easily. I still forget that I'm a grown up sometimes. But I've learned that I can change and adapt to changes in others. I've learned that friendship is a two way street and I don't have to walk that road alone. I've learned that motherhood is the greatest challenge and blessing there is on this earth. I've learned that being a good wife is an amazing gift not only to my husband but to myself. I've found my place and no matter what walls shelter me, I know who I am.
I thank God for the past decade with all it's struggles, life and death moments, laughs, tears, storms and rainbows. I thank God for every opportunity that came my way, the ones I took and the ones I didn't.
I'm thankful for a new chapter in my life. I can't wait to see what God does in this home, the lives He will touch, the joys he will bring, the opportunities to grow through stuggles. Bring on the storms and the rainbows... life awaits...

YOUR HOUSE
by Gail Rodgers
In our area the housing market has gone sky high. Everywhere people are talking about it. Some are relieved they bought before the climb started. Others are discouraged that they will not be able to move to a bigger house as their family grows. Some wonder if they will ever own their own home. A lot of emotion surrounds the issue of "your house".Where do you live? Is it an apartment, a cabin, a crowded area of the city, in the country, in a new home, an old home, a home in disarray with remodeling or repair?As we discussed this issue of housing my dear husband offered one of his wise insights. He said, "A house is just the box that HOME is in."How true. The walls that contain your home, the location of it, whether it's an apartment, a new home or even an unconventional home in a garage all pale in importance to what your HOME is like on the inside.I don't mean what dcor you have or if it's messy or clean. No, I mean what you have created within those walls. Regardless of the look and location of where you live, what atmosphere meets those who enter?Is your home a refuge from the world for your loved ones? Is it a place where they can come when the world is harsh and they know they will find loving arms, even when they make mistakes?We are not the sole contributors to the atmosphere in our homes. Those we share it with share that responsibility as well. Yet what we contribute does make a difference. If you are feeling disgruntled with the place you live in, choose to change your attitude today, invite God to help you do one thing today to make it a pleasing place to come to. It may simply be putting a smile on your face and warmth in your voice as others enter.Remember that the outward walls are simply the box that houses the heart of your home. "By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures" (Proverbs 24: 2 - 4 ).~Lord, however humble or grand my home may be, help me to make it a place of peace for those who enter. In Jesus' name, amen.Questions to ponder: What is the atmosphere like in your "home"; is it a place of refuge? What is one thing you could do to make your HOME more of a place of welcome/peace even when mistakes have been made?About the AuthorThis devotional was written by Gail Rodgers. Learn more about Gail: http://www.tmdevotionals.com/women/authors/gail-rodgers/

Two fathers

So yesterday was my dads birthdays. My dad turned 66 and my best friends' dad, whom I've claimed as my own turned 74. And for the first time in any one's memory, we actually got the two of them to sit down and talk. I do pray it's the beginning of a wonderful friendship. They can learn a lot one from the other. I'll be interested to see where it goes. It was really something to listen to my dad share part of his spiritual journey with Teddy. It was like listening to my own story. I had never realised that dad struggled with the faithfulness of God in much the same way I did. I never would have thought it. Learn something new everyday.
Speaking of birthdays, my dad spouted off a tidbit of info yesterday. I guess if there are 20 people in a room, it's guaranteed that at least two people will share a birthday (not the year just day and month). Try it and see!
Hmm, anything else to share?? Don't think so. Guess I should get on with my day and do all the stuff I avoided yesterday...

JUNE...already??

How did that happen? Time sure flies... when you spend all your time on Facebook. It's been fun reconnecting with old friends and finding out strange and wonderful things about people you didn't really care about in the past but hey they asked to be your friend so why not? (no I am not mentioning anynames here... you can all have a complex, just like me!)
Anyway, Bobby and I started packing up the hosue yesterday... so much fun. Well not really. The only thing I am dreading more than packing is well you guessed it, unpacking. I know I am going to have like 4 times the space but I still can't imagine where we are going to put everything. I just know I don;t want a cluttered mess anymore. Clean and streamlined... yeah right, like that will ever happen in a million years. Good thing God doesn't love me based on how clean and organised my house is...
So in my packing I came across an old journal entry (I only have about 100 started and then abandoned journals laying around) This one was neat to find because it reminded me of a time a few years ago when the light bulb went off that God really was faithful, he didn't just say he was, HE REALLY WAS and is. Funny how I still struggle with that sometimes. I still have my moments where it would just be easier to believe he doesn't exist but really my life would be so meaningless if that were the truth. What is the point of life if we are not here to serve something greater than ourselves. And God is the only thing that makes sense to me in that scenario. Over and over in my life God has proved Himself worthy of my trust and faith. Why do I ever doubt it?
And on a lighter note... it's a beautiful day out and I am successfully avoiding laundry and all other forms of house work... at least until I finish this blog!